Saturday, January 22, 2011

Re-Post: A Woman At Home...What is a "Homemaker"?


Homemaker:  What's In A Name?
I won't go into a detailed account of my further adventures in homemaking over the course of the past ten years, except as it illustrates any points I may make.  Suffice it to say that after ten years I've discovered the home is like a kaleidoscope: the focus is continually changing.

Homemaking as a vocation requires any number of skills and activities on a daily basis.  Anyone who thinks that this job is dull hasn't attempted homemaking as a career.  If you like a little routine mixed in with a lot of spontaneous combustion, welcome to the world of homemaking!

What does a homemaker do?  She creates a home.

Here's what the American Heritage Dictionary has to say about home as a noun:
1.  A place where one lives...
2.  A physical structure within which one lives
3.  One's close family and self; a persons most personal relationships and possessions
4.  An environment or have of shelter, of happiness and love 
5.  Any valued place, or emotional attachment regarded as a refuge... 
6.  The place where one was born or spent his early childhood...
7.  The native habitat of a plant, animal or the like
8.  The place where something is discovered, founded, developed, or promoted 
9.   Headquarters or base of operations 
10.  A goal or place of safety in a game 
11.  An institution where people are cared for
And there are other definitions based on the use of the word as an adjective that apply  such as:
1.  of or pertaining to a home, especially to one's household or house 
3.  of or pertaining to a base of operations
4.  going straight to the point and reaching the mark directly and accurately
5.  hosted
As an adverb:
1.  in one's own house, not away or absent 
3.  available to receive visitors. 
4.  at ease, unconstrained, comfortable 
5.  having facility in a field or skill, feeling an easy competency and familiarity...

These are just a few definitions of the word home, but just look at the variety of meanings!  And notice that each definition is rife with the responsibilities we as a homemaker must endeavor to address, although these definitions do not completely encompass the additional duties of being procurement officer, chauffeur, laundress, secretary, decorator, chef, accountant, human resources, doctor, and other duties that are entailed in keeping a house.

Today I'd like to look at the duties of a homemaker based on the definitions given.
1.  A place where one lives.  2.  A physical structure where one resides. 
I've lived in nice homes and not so nice homes.  Some were larger than others, some older, some smaller and some newer.  None of them were ideal, even though I might have thought so when we first chose to move into them.   I learned during an extended hospital stay that home is truly just where you live.  It can be one room or fifty.  It can be beautifully decorated or barely furnished.  What we require at least is four walls, a solid roof, some type of flooring and running water and electricity, although I can say quite sincerely that really only the four walls and the flooring were available in at least one of my homes!  And yes, I still felt it was home despite its great flaws. 

3.  One's close family and self; a person's most personal relationships and possessions
4.  An environment or haven of shelter, of happiness and love 
5.  Any valued place, or emotional attachment regarded as a refuge... 
6.  The place where one was born or spent his early childhood...

Throughout most of my childhood and life, I considered my Granny's farm as home.  Why?  Because it was here that I experienced a happy, normal, secure and loving environment.  Granny provided that in a house roughly 1/4 the size of any my parents owned.

Often it isn't great wealth or riches that make a house a home.  It's the people within it and a cherished possession or two.  In one of Laura Ingalls Wilder's books she notes that no house felt like home until the china shepherdess was set upon the little shelf or mantle.  Then they all felt at home.  It was a single piece, a much cherished piece and their only fine possession, yet that small ornament made all the difference in giving the family a sense that they were home once again.

I recall when we were moving into this home.  We moved very gradually over a six week period from our former home.  One night, Chance and I brought up the bookcases and then emptied the boxes of books and record albums and put them upon the shelves.  We sat close on a little loveseat (the only seating we'd been able to bring up at that time) and looked about the room that would soon be our new living room.  As we gazed at the spines of my books and the filled shelves, my husband turned to me and sighed.  "Now," he said, "it's finally starting to look like home."

8.  The place where something is discovered, founded, developed, or promoted 
9.   Headquarters or base of operations 

I love these two definitions!  Why?  Because this is homemaking at it's finest.  A wonderful environment wherein we learn and grow in skills, emotional maturity, spirit, physical body, and intelligence.  I feel strongly that the proper home environment nurtures the whole of a person.  Where else can you acquire so much knowledge in just a few years time?  It is in the home that we hopefully give our children the ability to grow into wonderful human beings, well rounded and capable. 

That the second definition says 'base of operations' certainly further promotes the idea of the home as the place to send forth and promote the ideals of a family doesn't it?

10.  A goal or place of safety...
11.  An institution or environment where people are cared for


I think these two definitions pretty much say it all.  A goal or place of safety.  That certainly does describe how I feel.  When I am tired or weary of dealing with the world at large, it is home where I most long to be.  I know my husband feels the same way, and nothing warms a parent's heart more than hearing a deep heartfelt sigh from a child whose returned for a visit. 

I've chosen to pair these two definitions because if the home is not where people feel cared for they are not going to be eager to return to it.  In order to provide a true heaven, the atmosphere must be that of caring, love, respect and admiration for all the individuals.  And I feel strongly that a homemaker must do her utmost to provide that atmosphere.

4.  going straight to the point and reaching the mark directly and accurately  5.  hosted
The point of any home is to have a heart, and what better mark to try and reach?  A homemaker will find that the heart of the home is generally considered to be herself.  She is the drawing card that brings her family back together at day's end.  She is the one to whom they turn for comfort.  She is the creator of the environment wherein the family feels safe and loved and welcomed.  And not just her own family but other family, friends and strangers should all detect that she is the heart of the family.  It is because she is that heart that the next  definitions also come into play.

1.  in one's own house, not away or absent  3.  available to receive visitors. 4.  at ease, unconstrained, comfortable
You cannot be absent and create a home!  As well, you must be able to open your home to others in order to be a true hostess to all.  A woman who is comfortable in her home, who feels at ease and makes others feel the same is a truly great hostess.  And that quality has little to do with how well you entertain them but everything to do with how welcome you make them feel.  It has little to do with the fineness of your belongings and more to do with striving to make what you have attractive, clean and neat and making sure that it is comfortable.  I think of Laine's home in this definition. 

For those of you familiar with Laine's letters*, you'll recall that she frequently entertains in her home, but she also mentions that her kitchen flooring has holes in it and that the living room floor is covered with layers of rugs to hide the worn flooring underneath.  She mentions that in the kitchen she has two easy chairs where she and her husband sit in the morning, and she often describes the crowding of guests around the kitchen table.  Her home sounds like it has been well used.  Yet  reading how she entertains her guests makes me sorry that I can't just drop by to share in a cup of tea and a chat in what sounds to be a happy haven.
*www.lainesletters.com

5.  having facility in a field or skill, feeling an easy competency and familiarity...

For me, this epitomizes a homemaker.  She may start out feeling she knows little, but as time goes on and she learns to hone her skills, she develops an easy and comfortable capability, one that appears effortless yet requires great care of thought and mindfulness.  This ability is what enables a homemaker to hug a child close with one hand while stirring a pot on the stove with the other, nestling a phone in the curve of her shoulder as she deals with a mechanic or repairman, mindful the while of where her next duty lies.
It is what allows her to sit down at day's end and sigh with satisfaction as she gazes around her home, at the family lolling on the sofa or the floor at her feet, knowing that she has completed yet another day in her home and once more achieved that delicate balance of harmony, peace, joy and fulfillment that being a homemaker can bring.

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